Eco

Why I Voted Democrat Print

A letter to the editor of the Grass Valley Union.

 

I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want.  I've decided to marry my house.

I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4 percent on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15 percent isn't.

I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq, I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I voted Democrat because I'm too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in 10 years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves.  They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as they see fit.

I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my rear that it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.